Are You "Too Bossy" in Your Relationship?

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I’ve heard it said that women in the professional world are “too bossy” even in their relationships or marriages. 

But does this happen to every woman in business, or is it just a few? And why would this even happen? 


What’s my take, you may ask?


First, let’s explore why this perception exists. If you’re a woman leading a business or holding a professional role, you likely have to be assertive and decisive. This is part of what’s made you successful. But when those same qualities show up in your personal life, does it make you “too bossy,” or is that just a misunderstanding?


Is “Bossy” Really the Right Word?

Society often expects women to be gentle, nurturing, and easygoing, especially in relationships. So, when you’re assertive or direct, it may seem “too much” to some people, simply because it’s different from those old expectations. Meanwhile, a man in the same role might be praised for his “strength” or “leadership.” Strange, isn’t it?


Maya’s Journey from Boss to Partner

Let’s talk about Maya. She’s a marketing manager who’s known for getting results. In her job, she’s learned to make quick decisions, speak confidently, and stand her ground. But at home, she’d often hear her partner say, “You don’t need to tell me what to do,” or “I’m not your employee.” 


At first, Maya didn’t see the problem, she was just being herself, right? But over time, she started to notice a pattern. Her assertiveness at work had started creeping into her relationship.


Maya didn’t want her partner to feel like her employee. She wanted him to feel valued, respected, and equal. After some reflection, Maya made a conscious choice to leave her “boss” role at the door. 

She gave herself a moment to mentally shift gears after work, reminding herself that her relationship needed something different. Over time, things changed. Maya didn’t need to change who she was; she just found a way to bring the right energy into each part of her life.


Why This Happens to Professional Women Like You

For women in leadership, it’s tough to just “switch off” the mindset that helps you succeed in the workplace. But relationships thrive on mutual respect, not directives. If you bring your work habits home, your partner might feel managed instead of valued. It’s a balancing act, no doubt about it.


The Double Standard You Might Be Facing

Assertiveness is often praised in men but gets labelled “bossy” in women. This double standard might leave you feeling like you’re doing something wrong for simply being yourself. But the truth is, being direct or decisive doesn’t make you any less caring or supportive. It’s just a part of who you are.


How to Keep Your Balance Between Work and Home


  • Set Intentional Boundaries: Try to keep work and personal life separate. Even if it’s just a few minutes to mentally shift gears, it will make a difference.


  • Communicate Clearly: Express needs or preferences in a way that’s supportive rather than directive. Often, it’s about the tone.


  • Value Your Partner’s Input: When you’re tempted to take the lead, try asking for their opinion instead. It keeps things feeling equal and encourages a sense of partnership.


  • Celebrate Each Other’s Wins: Acknowledge each other’s accomplishments. It helps keep mutual respect and balance in the relationship.


In the end, you’re not “too bossy.” You’re just trying to be yourself, balancing a career with a relationship. It’s all about letting the best parts of who you are shine through, without feeling the need to hold back your strengths.



Let me know your thoughts…


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